3 Tips to keep your spouse focused at home, on the marriage

There is never a good reason or excuse for having an affair and destroying your marriage vows. Period.
A cheater is fully responsible for their actions, and the justifications they come up with to make themselves feel better. Regardless of whether or not your spouse contemplates and goes through with an affair, your marriage may still have very legitimate problems that need to be addressed.
In this post, I’ll help you examine your relationship and identify ways to remove the allure of looking outside of the marriage in order to avoid the work of solving the problems within. These tips are applicable whether you are working to save your marriage before an affair happens—or you are in a position of trying to save your marriage post-affair.
Cheaters Have No Good Reason to Cheat
There may not be a good excuse for cheating, but that doesn’t mean cheaters haven’t tried to come up with one. The same old tired themes keep appearing:
“I didn’t feel loved anymore…”
“We never did anything fun together as a couple…”
“I never see him—he/she is always working…”
“He/she didn’t understand me or my needs…”
When cheating spouses say these things, it’s probably all the victim can do not to pull their own hair out. Your spouse was willing to throw away everything you had—over something that could have been worked on in the marriage

Is my spouse still cheating Part 2

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You already know the answer to this question in your gut: There's no way to be certain that your spouse won't cheat again. Human beings don't come with guarantees.

Your spouse could cheat on you again. It's possible. It's happened before, and that makes it more likely that it could happen again.

In my research over the years, I've seen it go both ways. I've seen people recover from affairs and build marriages that are happier than they've ever been, and I've seen people suffer through serial affairs.

Let me tell you, there's simply no way to be

Is my spouse still cheating Part 1

He might be out there with her right now for all I know. If that's true, I'll be made a fool of!

My 3-Step System for Rebuilding the Trust (Part 2)

The responsibility for rebuilding the trust in a relationship or marriage after it's been broken lies primarily with the person that broke the trust in the first place.

If you have cheated on your partner, or otherwise betrayed her either by turning her world upside down or constantly acting in a way that causes mistrust, it's your job to take ownership of that situation and do the work necessary to repair the trust if you want to heal your relationship.

The person whose trust has been broken plays a role in this process as well which I will describe in detail in a moment. But you should know that if your trust in your partner has been shaken you aren't going to be able to fix that problem on your own. You can't make your partner do things so you can trust him again. He needs to take the initiative in this process if you are truly going to heal from the wounds that have been created.

Ultimately there are 3 steps the person who broke trust needs to take if you are going to heal your relationship and rebuild what has been destroyed. Let's go through this process step by step to make saving your marriage or relationship from this devastation as clear as it can possibly be.

Step #1: Change Your Behavior

You have to change the behavior that caused the problem in the first place. If you have been having an affair you have to end it and take steps that will keep you from even getting close to the possibility of having another affair. In short, you need to change your behavior such that your spouse has the capacity to trust you again.

But not only do you need to change the behavior itself, you need to understand enough about how it became a problem and be able to explain that to your spouse. This gives you a better chance to change your behavior so it won't happen again. That is the only way you are going to create a situation where your spouse might begin to trust you again.

If you aren't clear about what I mean here, take the situation away from yourself and think of it this way: Imagine your mother, sister, or another close female friend or relative came up to you and told you her husband broke trust the same way you have. Suppose your sister's husband cheated on her, for example.

What would her husband have to do to rebuild the trust that was broken? What would he have to understand to reassure her it won't happen again? This should give you a hint about the work you need to do to rebuild your relationship and what you need to understand to make sure you never break trust again. Each situation is different, so there aren't any hard and fast answers here.

But what I can say is this ...

If you don't change your behavior and try to understand how it began at the very first step and why what you did was such a problem for your spouse you probably won't rebuild what you destroyed.

So it is critical that you take this step and do everything you can to change your behavior permanently.

Once you have done that you have a chance at rebuilding the trust. You increase your chances considerably by completing the rest of this process. So let's move on to step 2.

Step #2: Give a Complete and Full Apology

After you have changed your behavior, the next thing you must do is give a complete and full apology. You should know, my version of a complete and full apology is more detailed than simply saying, 'Yes, it was wrong. I'm sorry.' If you say something like that, it's almost like saying nothing at all.

A COMPLETE and FULL apology means you have to do three things. They are:

1.Come to a complete understanding of how wrong you were and take total ownership for that mistake.

This means you have to take some time and try to step into your partner's shoes for a few moments. You have to feel the pain you have caused by seeing the problem from her perspective.

Usually this means talking with your partner and taking the time to truly listen to what she is saying to you. Once you completely understand how much pain you have caused you have to 'take the hit' for the mistake you've made. That means not rationalizing it, not defending it, and not trying to blame it on your partner in any way. You must completely accept what you have done and take ownership for the damage you have caused.

2. Take care of your partner's feelings surrounding this issue.

Not only do you have to understand what you have done and take ownership for the transgression, you have to show some effort to be sensitive to your partner about her feelings in this area and take care of those feelings as much as you can.

That means not being defensive or cutting your partner off emotionally. It means showing some compassion and sensitivity about the pain she is in. And it means clearly changing your behavior so she can see you truly care about what you have done and how much you have hurt her.

3. Finally, in addition to apologizing for all the pain you have caused and taking ownership of the mistake, you have to make a verbal reassurance about your commitment to the internal change you made in step 1 of this process.

Of course, this verbal commitment has to be backed up by a real change in behavior otherwise what you are saying is just a bunch of empty words.

Keeping these three elements of a full and complete apology in mind let's look at how a sample apology might sound. The apology that follows is what Jack gave Eliza in the way of an apology after he admitted having an affair.

‘Eliza, I can see that I have hurt you. I was the one person you totally trusted above all else. Your world depended on my fidelity and consistency. I tore your world apart when I had that affair, and caused you to suffer with feelings of betrayal, anger, outrage, and despair.

Now I know how wrong I was, and I will do the work necessary to repair what I have destroyed. I know it may take a long time, and I am willing to keep working for it, but I hope one day we can rebuild our marriage together. I love you, and I want this marriage to last. I am truly sorry for what I have done.'

Once you have made this kind of apology and reinforced it by making the necessary changes in your behavior it's time to move on to the final step in the system.

Step #3: Let Your Partner Play Detective

The final step in my system for rebuilding trust revolves around giving the person whose trust was betrayed the tools she needs to begin trusting again.

For this step to work completely BOTH partners need to be fully engaged in it. Here's how it works.

The spouse whose trust was betrayed gets to check on her partner to make sure he isn't betraying her trust again by becoming a detective.

Like any detective she has the right and the responsibility to fully investigate any instances where she has the slightest suspicion that something is amiss.

If your trust has been betrayed by your partner, it's natural for you to be suspicious and worry that he might make the same mistake again. After all, he betrayed your trust once. What's to stop him from doing it again?

Thoughts and feelings like this are absolutely natural and you shouldn't condemn yourself for thinking and feeling this way. When you think about it, worrying your partner may betray you again is perfectly logical. Considering what you have been it makes complete sense.

I have seen a lot of patients who simply try and bury these thoughts and feelings, and you may be tempted to do the same thing. You may think that you're suspicions are irrational or that you will never be able to rebuild the trust if you keep worrying about whether or not your spouse is telling you the truth.

As a result you may try and simply push your suspicious thoughts and feelings out of your mind, but this will not work. No matter how much you try and repress your suspicious feelings, they will rise to the surface and torment you unless you deal with them properly.

Instead you should actually accept your suspicious feelings and use them to prove to yourself that your spouse is indeed being truthful.

If you are worried he is hiding his phones and doesn’t want you to see and read through his inbox and check his/her phone contact, ask him/her to give it to you.

This is what I mean by becoming a detective. You should use your suspicions to investigate your partner and make sure he is telling you the truth.

Investigating this way is the only way you are ever going to be sure your spouse isn't lying to you anymore. It's the only way you will be able to truly overcome the suspicious feelings you have been suffering with.

The reason is that it allows you to prove to yourself that your spouse has actually changed his behavior. Getting tangible evidence that your suspicions are false will, in time, help them diminish and eventually die away.

So now I want to turn my attention back to the person who violated the trust. If you have betrayed your partner and she can no longer trust you, not only do you have to change your behavior, you have to prove to her that you've changed.

I hope that with these few points you will be able to rebuild the trust that you once had for each other.

Drop a comment or a question below and you will get the answer without any delay.

3 steps to rebuild trust in your relationship (Part 1)

Has your world been turned upside down because the person you're supposed to be able to trust more than anyone on earth has betrayed that trust? Or have you been coping in a relationship or marriage where there is a constant undercurrent of mistrust because your partner regularly lies?

If you answered 'yes' to either of these questions, I've got good news for you.

There is a way to rebuild the trust that has been shaken, battered, or destroyed by your partner. And in this article I am going to touch on part of the principles that are necessary for rebuilding the trust.

Trust is the foundation of your relationship. It's as important as love is. So if you want to rebuild your relationship or marriage and make it into the tender loving relationship you have dreamt of all your life, rebuilding the trust is one of the most important steps you can take.

In this article I am going to help you take that step, so you can save your relationship or marriage and turn your world right side up again.

A lot of people say love is the foundation of every relationship. And it would be foolish to question the importance of love in relationships. After all, you can't have much of a relationship if you don't have love.

But what I have discovered over years is that trust is at least as important as love is.

Those of you who have suffered from a betrayal of trust know why I am saying this. For those of you who may doubt it, let me explain.

If you can't trust your spouse, it impairs every single facet of your relationship. Communication becomes more difficult, because you start to doubt he is telling you the truth about anything. You start worrying whether or not you can trust him with your finances, your personal secrets, or even with the mundane details of your day-to-day life.

More important than all that, when the trust in your relationship has been shaken, it makes it hard for you to trust your spouse with your emotional safety. Being hurt so badly by someone tears apart the emotional connection you so desperately need to have a happy, healthy marriage.

And that means that when the trust is lost it can actually damage or even destroy the love.

So while a relationship can't survive long without love; trust is the foundations on which that love is built. A lack of trust makes it nearly as difficult to have a good marriage as a lack of love.

This means that if you are in a relationship right now where there are trust problems, you need to repair this damage if you are going to make your relationship or marriage all it can be.

I know that may sound like an insurmountable task to you right now. And that's because it IS difficult. However, I assure you, you can rebuild the trust if you know how.

I have some tools I want to share with you that will help you rebuild the trust that has been destroyed in your relationship or marriage. But before I get to those I want to describe two different typical scenarios in which trust is a problem in relationships.

Understanding these two different kinds of trust problems will help you become aware of exactly what you need to do to start rebuilding the trust in your relationship.

Your World was shattered: When the Trust has been Totally Destroyed

Jack and Eliza had been together for 15 years, and Eliza was convinced they had the perfect life...

That is until Jack shared an awful secret that virtually destroyed Eliza's reality.

Jack had been having an affair for a year and a half with a woman at his office.

When Eliza found out, she was almost drowned in a pool of overwhelming rage, frustration, sadness, resentment, and betrayal. But, perhaps worse than all this, was the feeling that her whole world had been torn to pieces right before her eyes. Eliza described it this way:

'When Jack told me about the affair, I felt hurt, of course. But the part that really ruined me was the feeling that I couldn't trust anyone or anything ever again. Jack was the person I trusted most in all the world. When he betrayed that trust it turned my whole world upside down.

I started doubting my friends and family. I began to wonder whether or not anything I had ever believed in was true. I couldn't even trust myself anymore. My personal thoughts, feelings, and perceptions all seemed like lies. I felt like everyone and everything was going to betray me the way Jack had.

Jack tore my world to shreds that day. My life was no longer my life. How was I ever going to heal from all this pain? How could we ever repair all the damage he had done?'

If you have suffered from the kind of betrayal Eliza is talking about you know how she feels. She went from trusting Jack 100%, and in a single moment, all that was taken away and she felt as though she couldn't trust him (or anyone else) ever again.

There is no way to describe how difficult this kind of feeling is. It's so powerful that people's worlds are literally changed by these kinds of events. It's as though everything you once knew and trusted has been ripped to shreds in a single moment.

Infidelity is one of the ways this happens. When the vow of fidelity is broken in your relationship, it has this effect of tearing your world apart.

But there are other ways a spouse might completely destroy the trust in a single moment this way.

Any action, like this, that takes you from a place of trusting your spouse completely to not being able to trust him at all, is liable to rip your world apart and it fits into its own special category of trust problems.

There are ways to heal this kind of damage, and I will get to those in a moment. But before we do that, let's turn our attention to the other category of trust problems.

I Haven't Truly Trusted Him for a Long Time: The Constant Undercurrent of Mistrust

In other situations there isn't a single incident that destroys the trust, but a constant undercurrent of mistrust that has haunted the relationship for a long time, perhaps since the two of you first got together.

There are a lot of ways a sense of constant mistrust can develop in a relationship. When one spouse flirts with someone of the opposite sex every chance he gets, goes out gambling from time to time and puts a big hole in the savings account, or is regularly involved in business situations that seem less than ethical, his wife may develop an ongoing concern about whether or not she can trust him.

In my experience ongoing trust issues of this nature often develop around addictions. If your spouse is addicted to drugs, alcohol, gambling, or anything else it can create a situation where you are never quite certain you can trust him.

I have seen relationships go on for a LONG time with this kind of constant undercurrent of mistrust. In some cases, people continue in relationships like this for years, and suffer from bouts of trouble with trust as well as other problems.

Based on my definition of a fully intimate marriage, I don't think a relationship where there is constant mistrust can be completely and fully intimate. You aren't going to be the best couple you can be if there is a constant sense of mistrust in your relationship or marriage. And that means that if you want to get to a place where your relationship is truly what you most want it to be you are going to have to face this trust issue as well.

Trust issues of this type can be healed using this 3-Step System for Rebuilding Trust, just as the trust issues described in the section above can.

However, I want to mention one final point before we get to that.

If you are dealing with a situation where there are problems with addiction, this issue has to be treated before you can truly start rebuilding the trust.

Having said that, I shall be coming your way with the concluding segment of this article. I hope you have been blessed by it? Feel free to leave a comment in the section below.

Coping With Heartbreak - 3 Ways to Fix Your Heartbreak!

Coping with heartbreak is something that just about everyone has to do at some point within their lives. Whether that be through the loss of someone special or like in most cases a relationship break up. Losing a partner through break up is a cruel thing and something that can tear your heart in to completely. So, what can you do to help when coping with heartbreak from a relationship break up?

1. Be Strong

This is obviously a well used tip and one that most of your closest friends and family have probably already said to you. But it is easier said than done! The only things you want to do right now is crawl into a ball and disappear. This is normal and a reaction the body takes when put through horrible emotions.
But you need to be strong and brave, this will help you become a better person and allow you to get on with life without your ex partner.

2. Socialize

Socializing is also something that is probably sat at the very back of your mind right now. You have just broken up with someone and trying to cope with your heart breaking, the last thing you want to do is go out and be happy!

But unfortunately you need to do this! Moping around the house and becoming a hobbit will only make things feel ten times worse. Let's face it, with nothing to do and nobody to talk to, the only things that are going to be running through your mind are the good and bad times with your ex partner.

This isn't going to help you with coping with heartbreak. So when you are invited out with friends, take every opportunity with both hands and give you brain a break from the break up

3. Talk

Ok, something else you may not want to do right away but talking and letting everything out to someone else, a close friend or family member will help you to cope with heartbreak. You are effectively letting out the strain on your broken heart and by doing this, you will feel much better almost immediately.

There is nothing quite like talking to a friend or relative and really letting things out, you are then not just dealing with this issue by yourself, you are getting to the support you need!

Coping with heartbreak from a relationship break up is not a nice thing and the only real way to fix your heart is by following tips like the above and either allowing TIME TO HEAL or BY REKINDLING THE LOVE WITH YOUR EX!

The 3 tips above will do something towards either time or reconciliation; you just need to decide which route you want to take to completely fix your heartbreak!

If this article has bless you, kindly leave a comment below.

Make Long Distance Relationship Work

By Francis K Githinji
More and more people are finding themselves in long distance relationship. Some of them find themselves in one because their partner has to go and study somewhere or have to go and work in some other country or town. For whatever reason, people who are in long distant relationship are always anxious and keep wondering wether their relationship will work or not. The good news is that, just like any other relationship, long distance relationship has got its own huddles that can be passed safely if you follow this simple advice. Every one faces their own kind of problems in a relationship and no matter how close you are with the person in matters of distance your relationship could still end. Rejoice to the fact that distance has been said to make the heart fonder.

Now that your partner is off to some other place, this is the time to get closer. Call each other more often than you usually did when they were around. Try to communicate as much as possible with your partner and update them with what is going on in your life. This will make them feel a part of it and they will have no reason to doubt you. Avoid calling for a millisecond thinking that you are saving money. In the end you could be ending your relationship. Designate time in which you will call your partner and talk for hours. You can not see them, but you can hear them. Be a keen listener, that way, you can almost tell whether your partner is okay or is having trouble wherever he or she is. That way, you will grow even closer and your long distance relationship will work.

If you have a computer with you at home, fix it with the Internet and the web cam. Late in the evening if you are in the same state, you can talk while seeing each other. It is very important to see someone once in a while. Though you might not be able to see them physically, you can see them through the web cam. Technology has made it easier for long distance relationship to work. Send each other gifts on important days. Just because they are far from you it doesn't mean you should forget to send each other gifts and letters. Be very creative with the letters. You can also send them a love poem just to tell them how much you miss them and love them.

Trust is a very important element in any relationship. The fact that your partner is far from you might make it hard for you to trust them. You might not know what they are doing, but that doesn't mean you have to bring it up all the time and accuse them of being unfaithful. This will only push your partner further away and the distance between you will not only be physical but emotional. If you have to visit your partner, inform them about it. Do not go to their place in the pretext of seeing them yet you had gone to check if they were cheating. Long distance relationship should be able to work if there exists mutual trust between the two of you.

What is your view about long distance relationship? leave a comment below.

Surviving a Long Distance Relationship - 5 Advices to Strengthen Your Relationship

Surviving a long distance relationship can be a challenge not well understood until you experience it yourself. It would require both parties to be committed to each other and willing to stay together emotionally.

Having a long distant relationship would definitely have some of its problems as any other relationship, and you would need to know how to avoid them or resolve them to prevent your relationship from falling apart. Some of these advices could also help strengthen the bond between you and your long distance partner and improve your relationship.

One of the most important things you two need to be in mutual agreement with each other. Being in a relationship but having a great distance between the two of you means neither of you have much control over the other. One of you may feel that it is important to keep intimacies between each other only while the other may feel that continuing to go out with others would do no harm. If either cannot agree to have a relationship like this, things could fall apart easily.

Often, though, people would not consider such a monogamous relationship while the two of them are apart. With only the voice on a long-distance call or the words over the Internet, there is little motivation to stick to one person for the rest of your left while there are others who are easily available, and in the flesh as well. They usually would not stick together unless they do feel a strong bond between them.

You would also need to know that with a great distance between the two of you, physical contact with each other would be rare so you two would need to communicate properly and clearly. Talking to each other to understand and learn about each other becomes vital in your attempt to improve your relationship.

If there was a relationship that has lasted and is very strong, it could be formed from a long distance. Using only communication skills that proved to be great and bonded the two people together even after so long, the addition of physical contact with each other adds on to the bond when they finally meet in person and live together. Furthermore, you would find yourself loving the soul who is your lover and not the body that gives a mere visual representation of your lover.

For people who may have problems trusting others, being in a long distance relationship may not be suitable. For one, you can contact your loved one only when your loved one makes him or her contactable, otherwise, you would have practically no other means of getting into contact, except by travelling the distance personally. Thus, a great amount of trust is required in such a relationship.

This trust is also important because if both of you are endlessly suspecting each other of seeing someone when not contactable, it would put a great strain on your relationship. Continuing such a relationship could bring more harm than joy to your lives.

At the same time, both you and your loved one need to resist temptations. With so many other people living in the same area you do, it could be easily to find yourself lusting after the next-door neighbour who happened to display a sexy side for just that one moment. It is much easier to be attracted to a person's physical beauty than by a trail of words or a disconnected voice coming from a small box.

Being in a long distant relationship can prove to be very difficult or almost impossible for some people, but if you two truly love each other and can hold a strong bond, when you two come together, your relationship could be much more beautiful than anyone would expect.

Effective Dating Tips For Women

By Kevin Urban

There are many effective dating tips for women today. In today's world of courtship, it is important to know and understand the field that you are playing in. It is equally important to know exactly how to make your play so that you can optimize your performance in this area of your life. By following these simple dating tips for women, you can make this experience a fulfilling and positive one. Once you engage in fulfilling and positive dating experiences, you will become more productive in this area. The following tips will help you on your way to discovering that relationship that you are seeking through dating.


Be Yourself


The first and most important dating tip for women in my personal opinion is ensuring that you are true to yourself, and that you simply be yourself when dating. When you begin to date, you should just focus on who you truly are and not who you think your date wants you to be. If you "role play" that of a person other than you are, it is quite likely that it will eventually catch up to you, and result in difficulties in any relationships that you want to pursue with the person you are going out with.


Don't Keep Your Date Waiting


Being on time is of the utmost importance. You should always be considerate of the meeting times, telephone calls, and other situations and events that you have committed to. If you fail to uphold the promises that you make, and you invade upon the rights of time on your date, this will make a long lasting impression that can be detrimental to the relationship that you share for a long time.



Have a Positive Attitude

The next dating tip for women that I have is that you should remain positive at all times. You should avoid complaining too much, seeing the negative in things, and allowing all this negativity to show. While it is important that you are yourself, and should remain true to that, being negative is never a way to go when it comes to socialization.



What Not to Talk About


Conversation is an essential component when it comes to dating tips for women. Let's face it; most of us really enjoy talking. However, when you are in the process of dating someone, it is important to avoid certain types of discussions. These topics may include health, previous relationships, money, and similar areas. It may also be in the area of expressing future expectations of the relationship, such as getting married.



Accept Compliments


While dating, you may find that the individual you have chosen to socialize with issues compliments to you. It is important that you resist the urge to "talk down" the compliment, or refuse to accept it. If you are issued a compliment, avoid all the emotional negative self talk and just accept it. You should thank your date by issuing you a compliment. If you accept compliments, it shows that you have an air of self confidence. You will come to find that many men really enjoy dating someone who is self confident.


Disagreeing is OK

You will find that there will likely come a time when you must share your opinions on certain subjects. It is important to ensure that you always express yourself honestly, and allow the other person to know where you stand on various subjects. Do not feel that you will turn on a male that you are dating simply because of the fact that you agree with him. Men want to date women who are strong and completely confident in whom they are as individuals. If nothing else, being honest about how you feel on certain topics may actually push him to be more attracted to you!


Ask Questions



When it comes to dating tips for women, it is important that you understand the basic element of communication. That is that most people enjoy talking about themselves and what has and is occurring in their life. If you are looking to make a sound impression, and want to allow that person to get closer to you, ask questions that allow them to take about themselves.



Conclusion



There are many different online dating tips for women. The ones here are the basis for all other dating tips. If you want to make a long lasting impression, and potentially court the individual that you are with in hopes of developing a serious relationship, it is important to ensure that you follow the techniques listed here. It is one of the best guides when it comes to dating tips for women

DATING TIPS FOR MEN- 21 insider tips for success

The following 21 dating tips for men are based on research and personal experience. Most of them are exclusive to men and not applicable for use by women, although they may benefit by reading them. The same is true of the ones for women; men may benefit by reading them as well.

Dating Tips for Men #1: Ask her for a date like a man. Pick the day before you call. If she tells you that it's not a good day, do not negotiate unless she offers a specific alternative that fits into YOUR plan. If she doesn't offer a specific alternative (This would NOT include, "Call me next week."), say to her, "Perhaps some other time." That's it! If she is interested, she will re-arrange her schedule. Think it over for a week or more and if you feel in your gut that you should give it second try, go for it. If not, move on!

Dating Tips for Men #2: Make dates in advance. Ask her to go out with you well in advance of the actual date. 1-2 weeks is good at the beginning. This strategy gives you time to make arrangements for your date and it also creates romantic anticipation.

Dating Tips for Men #3: Have it all planned. Have the entire date planned, scheduled, and reserved before you pick her up. Not only will she be impressed by your organization, but you'll also have a better time.

Dating Tips for Men #4: Invest your time and money wisely. There is no sense investing a lot of your time or money until you determine if you like each other. Most women will only become uncomfortable, or perceive you as being foolish, if you spend a month's pay on the first date.

Dating Tips for Men #5: Use a progressive dating strategy. Start with inexpensive dates during the week and work your way up to more expensive dates on the weekends.

Dating Tips for Men #6: Timeliness is classiness. Be on time to pick up your date. This does NOT mean getting there early. Many women, and men, schedule their preparations for going out down to the last minute. If you are running late by more then 10 minutes, call and let her know when to expect you.

Dating Tips for Men #7: Being yourself is your best act. Don't try to impress your date with your money, your position, your car, or your body measurements. Using these things to win a woman over will only attract those with superficial intentions. Win them over by showing them the qualities you have inside by simply being yourself.

Dating Tips for Men #8: Be like a movie star. Almost all of the male movie stars who attract an abundance of women on and off the screen have exquisite manners. Women love being treated like ladies. You see these men opening a door for her, letting her walk into a room first, and helping her with a chair. I once witnessed two (2) young army combat veterans instantly stand up when a poor, unattractive teenage girl entered the room. They had no obligation or incentive whatsoever to respond as they did. It was beautiful!

Dating Tips for Men #9: Keep your eyes on the ball. Do not check out other women. Even when done on the sly, women will pick it up. Nothing is more classy and warrior-like than a man who keeps his attention on the woman he's with regardless of who she is.

Dating Tips for Men #10: Cleanliness is coolness personified. Be sure that all areas of your body are clean and fresh. This includes your hair, ears, body, and especially your teeth. Bad breath, which is often caused by a dental or periodontal problem, is usually not noticeable by the person who has it. Nothing is more of a turn off than bad breath. If you haven't had your teeth cleaned in the last six months, get it done!

Dating Tips for Men #11: Hold your flattery. Save your compliments about her beauty for the right time. Although you might be intoxicated by her beauty, do not reveal the full extent of your feelings on your first few dates. Save that for the right moment several dates down the road. Just say, "You look very nice this evening." and leave it at that. In regard to sexual innuendoes, they have no place during the early stages of dating.

Dating Tips for Men #12: Put it in your autobiography. Don't tell her your whole life story and all your secrets right away. In fact, always try to maintain some degree of anonymity in some area of your personality or life, as it naturally provokes more excitement. Mystery is a mental aphrodisiac!

Dating Tips for Men #13: One night to stand. Do not expect to have sex on your first date. Consider these scenarios: If you do have long-term interest in a particular woman and your main focus is sex on the first date, her opinion of you will be lowered. If you do NOT have any long-term interest in a particular woman and she willingly has sex with you on the first date, she has probably done it before! Maybe several times, maybe hundreds of times! Having sex with a woman like this GREATLY increases the chances of you contracting a sexually transmitted disease (STD). Here's my advice: Take the pressure off yourself and don't expect sex on the first date. This will enable you to more clearly evaluate the person and you'll have a better time.

Dating Tips for Men #14: Sex without full mutual agreement is rape. Do not pressure a woman to have sex. Regardless of how you feel about a particular woman, it is inappropriate to pressure a woman to have sex at anytime.

Dating Tips for Men #15: Patience equals unimaginable pleasure.. Do not rush a woman to have sex. If you're really interested in a long-term relationship with a particular woman, do NOT rush her to have sex with you based on any kind of "timetable." If you want to have the BEST sexual experience of your life, become best friends FIRST and then have sex. I assure you, it is worth the wait!

Dating Tips for Men #16: Romance is the key to receiving a woman's best. Women love romance! They need it in order to feel complete. It literally fulfills a part of their sexual needs. It's what they require for true satisfaction. So, include romance into your dating plans.

Dating Tips for Men #17: Be a creative romantic. The traditional methods for creating romance remain unchanged. These include buying her flowers, candy, jewelry, perfume, and romantic music; sending her love letters and notes; taking her to dinner at unique restaurants; taking her dancing at nightclubs; and taking her to movies, operas, or plays that depict a love story. The key to having the outcome that you want, however, is to come up with your own unique twists to these ancient practices. In other words, be CREATIVE!

Dating Tips for Men #18: Keep your grip. Do not get lazy about your relationship or you might get a letter from her one day that says, "Goodbye." Keep yourself looking your best. Keep the relationship alive by continually telling her and showing her how much you care. And don't ever forget to do something for her birthday and any other holidays that are important to her.

Dating Tips for Men #19: Warrior's goodnight kiss. Don't liger after the goodnight kiss at the beginning of your dating activity with a particular person. Kiss her once to the duration that feels right. Then say good night, turn, and walk away. Do not linger, talk more, try to kiss her again, or ask her for another date! This practice creates the mystery/romance that women love and prevents you from getting catch up by the heat of the moment and acting like a fool. Take a deep breath and go home. Take a few days to think things over. Is she right for you? Do you want to see her again or move on? It's a lot easier to move on at the beginning than down the road.

Dating Tips for Men #20: Trust your gut. Do not continue to date a woman if you know she's not right for you. Don't keep her around until you find someone better. That's not fair to her or you. Don't waste your time. Do what's right. Have the courage to move on!

Dating Tips for Men #21: Smart moves pay lifetime dividends. No matter how truthful, safe, and healthy your partner/friend seems, make certain that an adequate birth control method is being used, and that you both get tested for sexually transmitted diseases (STD) BEFORE your first sexual encounter. If you don't have medical insurance to cover these expenses, most local health departments offer birth control counseling and STD testing for free or at a nominal fee. One bad choice in this area can instantly ruin your life forever!

I wish you much dating and relationship success!

Dating tips and tools

ADVICE

The Principles of Dating

Whether you’re looking for sex or romance (or both), dates are going to be part of the process. We all have horrible date stories, but with a little bit of Love Systems strategy, you can improve your odds dramatically. The following are the Principles of Dating, designed to help you accomplish all of your goals on a date.

1. Planning

Never ask a woman what she wants to do on a date. Have everything planned and prepared for the night, including a backup plan in case she’s late or in a traffic jam. Being taken out is highly attractive to a woman, so make sure you take control of the situation and surprise her with your ownership of the date. It’s also a good idea to have her come to your place to start the date. By doing this, you’ve already made the decision that the date will end at your place, which is a great way to increase your o

dds of getting intimate at the end.

2. Different

Don’t be another addition to her list of typical dates. Plan something different, including things like concerts, amusement parks, or art galleries. Most inept guys have probably taken her to dinner, drinks, or the movies in an attempt to impress her. Since you’re NOT trying to fail, separate yourself from the pack and be adventurous. Also, please don’t wait until the end of the night for a kiss; this is typical and always awkward. Since you’re trying to stand out, try to initiate a kiss as soon you have a window of opportunity. The end of the night should always be reserved for a much important decision: Whether she wants to have sex or not!

3. External Simulation

Take her somewhere that doesn’t allow conversation to be the only source of entertainment. Dinner or drinks tend to apply a lot of pressure on your game, so try to provide an environment where conversation is stimulated, not forced like a job interview. Great dates for conversation are things like wine tasting and taking her shopping.

4. Interaction

Even though a stimulating environment is recommended for a date, try not to engage in something that tends to have you doing stuff independently. Since a date should be a shared experience, try to avoid things only you do independently. So if you’ve decided to see a movie, please realize that eating popcorn and turning off your cell phone is about as engaging as it gets. Interactivity can be achieved by taking salsa lessons, playing Frisbee in the park, or even going to a shooting range.

5. Excitement

Plan dates designed to take her through a range of sensations or emotions. At a comedy club, she can be laughing, scandalized, or amused. At an art gallery, she could be visually stimulated or even offended. Making sure your date is stimulating is not only a recipe for success, it’s also a great way to prepare for future dates by seeing what makes her happy, sad, or offended.

To see the final 5 principles, including a detailed treatment on dating, please read chapter 17 of Magic Bullets. This book, including the Love Systems Routines Manual (quick tips and tricks for picking up) can be found at www.LoveSystems.com.

The Date Principles

WELCOME TO REAL DATING TIPS AND TOOLS ONLINE........

The ritual of dating goes back many centuries. In fact, in many countries such as Japan, dating is organized. In Japan, there are many group dates or the parents arrange dates for their children. Moreover, sometimes a matchmaker is hired to set up a couple on a date. Dating can be both an exciting and nerve racking for people at any age. Meeting people that you wish to go out with is a difficult thing to do. In today’s modern times, there are many ways in which people can and do hook up with others and go out on dates. I have been set up on blind dates and I have met men on my own at school and around my community at places like the library, Banes and Noble, and a local pizza parlor and gone out on dates. Also, when I first started college, my best friend and I doubled dated with two guys and went bowling and had ice cream. No matter how you chose to get a date, there is common sense dating etiquette that should be followed. In addition, when going out on a date, please be careful and trust your instincts.

Most people start dating when they are teenagers. I started dating when I was thirteen. Tommy and I went to a high school military ball on our first date and a Halloween carnival on our second date. Tommy also went out to dinner with my family and me after I graduated from elementary school. While we were dating, Tommy and I gave each other small gifts and cards as signs of affection for each other. I gave Tommy a Valentine’s Day button and an assortment of cards. I also bought him a small surf figurine that held a set of drums. I did this because Tommy was a drummer at the time. One of the sweetest gifts that Tommy gave me was when he graduated elementary school. Each person who was graduating had to “will” something to an underclassman. Therefore, Tommy “willed” to me his drumming ability. It is a kind, caring and loving gesture to give your boyfriend or girlfriend tokens of affection when you are dating. It really doesn’t matter what gift you give your significant other, it is the thought that counts when it comes to gift giving. Tommy also gave me the gift of my first kiss. In addition, I have remembered Tommy to this day because he was my first boyfriend and my first love.

Dating etiquette would also include treating your boyfriend or girlfriend lovingly. This would include holding hands with your significant other; kissing and hugging your significant other, listening to your significant other, and taking into account the needs and wants of your significant other. This would not include hitting and pushing your significant other and calling your significant other names such as “fat cow” and “bitch or bastards”. Relationship violence has always been a part of dating; however, it wasn’t until recently that society has viewed relationship violence as a community problem.

Today there is no clear dating etiquette these days for who pays for dates or who should call first after the date. It is claimed that whoever initiated the date pays for the date. In addition, either person can call first after having a good date.

For further inquiries on dating drop a comment with your contact, I will personally get to you.